Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Surrender or surrendering was a word I heard at nearly every church event growing up. I have gone to the altar and tearfully surrendered different things countless times. I have earnestly told God that I am surrendering certain areas and all of my life to him. After hearing tons of sermons, sunday school lessons and even a couple of college lectures on surrendering I still don't think I have grasped what it means. How do you surrender something that a portion of you doesn't want to surrender. Do you just think or pray really hard that you won't want to hold on to that area or thing anymore? I can completely mean that I hate something with the majority of who I am, but that doesn't change how the minority of me feels about it. And these questions have to do with both sinful things and things that aren't really sinful but need to be let go of too. I am starting to wonder if I have ever actually surrendered anything. If I have it would seem like I would not be struggling with the same things I struggled with in 6th grade. And when you talk to people most of the time all you get is comments like "just give it all to Jesus" or other emotional phrases that don't give me any real direction. If I say anymore on this I will just start repeating myself. There will probably be a post on prayer soon.