definitions

I've always had words that have defined my life and future. I still have these words, but what do you when the definitions of those words are being altered, changed completely or growing? Words like ministry, God, love, worship, family, Christian. Part of me is excited by having a better understanding of these words, but most of me doesn't like the discomfort of figuring out how these new definitions have to be applied through out my life.

Praises

I praise God a ton less than I should. I have so many things to be thankful for that I should continually be on my knees praising my saviour. In this post however, I'm praising God for a few specific things.

1. Family
2. Friends who have become Family

1. God has blessed me with a loving and supportive family. My parents and aunts and uncles have always shown me love and supported me. He has also blessed me with cousins who are my best friends. All the way through school my cousing C.J. has been my best friend. I'm so thankful that much of my family is made up of hickish people. Many are uncultured, have worst grammar than me, and cuss, drink, and smoke, but when crisises (sp?) occur they are the first ones to come running.

I don't know if you've ever been a pall-bearer, but if you have I doubt you had as much fun as me. We were laughing the whole ride to and from the cemetary. We cracked jokes, slammed each other (in the way only families can) talked about how Aunt Sarah scared the junk out of us, heard the older cousins talk about gettin wasted and driving drunk. Some people might think these things inappropriate for pall-bearers to be doing on the ride to and from the cemetary to barry their Grandfather. But I'm glad it was like that and not quiet and somber. Why do we have to grieve by sitting silently and crying. Why can't we mourn by having fun together like we would if Grandpa was still with us?

We had a family Christmas party planned for today. We considered cancelling it, what with the funeral and everything, but we decided that we would have it despite it. The older cousins did what they always do, play cards and made fun of each other for stupid mistakes while playing. The little cousing rode around and played together and annoyed the adults and older cousins. The adults sat and talked and even broke out Catchphrase. And we all ate!

2. I have friends that have become family. They helped us play Trading My Sorrows at my Grandpa's funeral. I know I would have given up on life a long time ago if it wasn't for their prayers, hugs, jokes, encouragements, and advice. I thank God for the ones that I've grown up with at Church and for the new ones I've met at college. Both groups have uplifted me in prayer through this time. Some of my friends even drove to the viewing and funeral despite a recent death in their own family. How awesomely loving is that?! I Praise God for both these groups.

I thought of something while I was typing this. Without death life would be meaningless. Without knowing that my time with these people that I love is limited I would take them for granted even more than I already do.

Trading My Sorrows

The most important thing in my life besides my relationship with God is my relationship with my family and friends who have become my family. It is times like I've had the past week that you realize how much you need the support of these people. At my grandpa's funeral today when one person would break down and cry there would be one or two other people putting their arms around them and hugging them. I don't want to pack everything I want to say about my family and friends who have become family into this post.

I think my Grandpa had one of the coolest funerals I've seen. My Grandma asked the teen praise team (at least half of which is made up of her grandkids) to sing Trading My Sorrows. How many grandmas ask for an upbeat, contemporary, worship song to be sung at their husbands' funerals? It struck me several times how appropriate that song is at a funeral of a Christian man. That's exactly what my Grandpa did, he traded his sorrows, shame, pain, sickness for the joy of the Lord for eternity. It also speaks to those of us who are left behind. We might be saddened or maybe even a little discouraged, but those of us who have Jesus are not beaten. "I am pressed, but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed, I am blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure his joy's gonna be my strength. Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes with the morning" Also how awesome is it that we were playing an upbeat song, with electric guitars and drums? Us Christians sometimes forget that funerals are not just about grieving, though that is definitely a part of it, we as believers are celebrating on behalf of one of our brothers that has fought the good fight and endured. My Grandma is a wise lady.